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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 04:20
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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 04:20
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Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
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Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
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Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
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War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
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Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
If you\'re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
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If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
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I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
And God said, \'Let there be light\' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
Don\'t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
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The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
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When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
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One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they\'re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
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Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
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Louis Pasteur\'s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
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A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you\'ll be afraid to cough.
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A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
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Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
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Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
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I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
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Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
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I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
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If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
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You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I\'ve only ever had one.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
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I\'ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I\'ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
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The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
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To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
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Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
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Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
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Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
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Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
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A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
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No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
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It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
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You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
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Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
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If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
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God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI?!
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
Devlin\'s First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin\'s Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
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Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Smith & Wesson ? the original point and click interface.
A physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
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Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you\'ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn\'t your biggest problem.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
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I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
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Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there\'s no law against whacking them around a bit.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
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A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Mit der Dummheit k?mpfen G?tter selbst vergebens
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
Build a man a fire, and he\'ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he\'ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Once you\'ve written TBicycle, you never forget how.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you\'ll be afraid to cough.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:27
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